Day 1

Yesterday I completed day 1 of my 30 day challenge. In retrospect, starting this thing with a 5pm class on a UK Bank Holiday Monday was probably not a great idea. It was hot, sun was shining and I am guessing for most of us in London this mainly means one of the following - park, bbq, pub, or anything that serves drinks and has an open terrace/garden. Driving to the studio I passed by a number of such establishments bursting at their seams, and couldn't help but question my motivation and if I am really prepared to commit to this for the next couple of weeks. I took a deep breath, put all of this sudden self doubt down to good weather and decided to go for it. To hell, we are in England after all, it's bound to rain any moment now!

Got to the class in good time and found a spot in the front row right next to the mirror. When we began with the first breathing exercise (Pranayama) it was pretty clear this was going to be a tough one. Last week's long weekend in Croatia, one too many drinks and cigarettes, a couple of weeks of a very sporadic exercising regime, all came back to haunt me. It was payback time. By the time the breathing exercise was over I was already covered in sweat. However, the standing series begun and a small miracle happened, in the last part of the Half Moon Pose i finally managed to glue my forehead to my legs and lock the knees. After years of on and off practice (well, mostly off), I finally nailed this one! Being in this position felt so different than what it felt like trying to get there all these years. It felt right, something inside me said 'of course!' and it felt good, so good that I just wanted to stay there. The thrill of that moment kept me going through the rest of the standing series which were challenging. Now, I can usually manage the standing head to knee pose, and bend my head down to my knee on good days, but this Monday I was struggling to keep my foot in the air. By the time we hit the floor panic set in and my mind was racing. A frenzy. An avalanche of thoughts. Random, unrelated thoughts. Just as I would get rid of one, another one would come along. It seemed as if my energy was being used up more on this mental struggle rather than the actual physical exercise. I think I managed to find the stillness during only about 10% of the 90 minutes in the hot room. The rest of the time was a battle. I remember the classes from a couple of years ago where my mind was still for all of the 90 minutes. The amazing realisation that for 90 minutes my mind was empty. Resting. I wonder how long it will take me to get there this time around? Something to look forward to.......

On my way back home, the first song the radio played when I got into the car opened with the line "Have you got colour in your cheeks?".... Funny. Crawling back to you Bikram, crawling.... Arctic Monkeys.